In what is guaranteed to be one of the more humorous lawsuits filed in court and obtained by TMZ -- Justin Bieber is reportedly being sued in Michigan by a man claiming to be Selena Gomez's father. The suit reportedly accuses Justin of owing him money for an abortion after Justin got Selena pregnant on a "Canadian bear rug." The suit also claims that Usher went to "Selena Gomez's dad's" house and sodomized him on the fourth of July with a firework while playing Katy Perry's hit, "Firework."  Other claims include Bieber giving Selena an STD and Bieber stealing the man's credit card to get a penis enlargement as well as buying Sean Combs cocaine to use "in a drug free school zone."