Despite her upbeat statement, sources say that Paula Abdul is "not okay" with having been fired from X Factor. A source told RadarOnline.com, "Paula loved doing the show and was blindsided by the news. Everyone is afraid this is going to send her into a deep depression and cause her to revisit some of her old destructive behavior. She loved doing the show and never thought Simon would let her go . . . again . . . this makes twice that he's booted her from the judging chair -- once on Idol and now X Factor -- and she says she doesn't know if she can trust him again even if he does come up with another project for her."