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Wes McKane's Blog


Posts from March 2013


20 Ways NOT to Kiss
Whatever you do, DO NOT…

1 … have bad breath or unclean teeth — it’s the equivalent of hooking up in underwear with skid marks.

2 … lick your lips before going in — this is not dinner.

3 … drown your lips in gloss or lipstick.

4 … tongue jab.

5 … have chapped lips.

6 … aim for their uvula with your tongue.

7 … slobber all over your partner’s face — spit is cold and nasty when it gets outside your mouth.

8 … make your tongue hard and pointy.

9 … head straight for the boobs, the ass or the crotch as soon as the kissing commences.
10 … immediately ram your tongue inside.

11 … open your mouth as wide as possible, like you’re attempting to eat the other person’s head.

12 … kiss with a cold sore (i.e. oral herpes).

13 … fail to mention that you have oral herpes, even if you’re currently asymptomatic, as there’s still always a chance — albeit slight — of transmission.



14 … run your tongue along their gums.

15 … sneak up on someone so they don’t have a chance to deflect the incoming kiss.

16 … hold their head in a headlock or press too hard, especially if beard stubble is involved.

17 … withhold tongue altogether.

18 … conduct the oral equivalent of a limp handshake — it’ll make your partner feel like they’re kissing a dead fish.

19 … look around or over your partner’s shoulder during the kiss. (Some people like to kiss with their eyes open, but we recommend keeping your peepers shuttered during a first or early kiss, as wide eyes can freak some people out.)

20 … kiss with gum or food in your mouth.

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Need a St. Paddy's day blessing?!?!
1) "May the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends beneath it never fall out."
2) "May your thoughts be as glad as the shamrocks. May your heart be as light as a song. May each day bring you bright, happy hours. That stay with you all the year long."
3) "Who gossips with you will gossip of you."
4) "It is better to be a coward for a minute than dead for the rest of your life."
5) "A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures."
6) "Don't give cherries to pigs or advice to fools."
7) "May the cat eat you and may the devil eat the cat."
8) "A silent mouth is sweet to hear."
9) "The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill."
10) "A son is a son till he takes him a wife. A daughter is a daughter all of her life."
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Have regrets??
There's an old quote that goes: "You only regret the things you DON'T do." It's mildly clever, and perfect for girls to use as their senior quote in yearbooks . . . but it's also a TOTAL LIE. We ALL regret plenty of things we DID do.



--A new survey has ranked the top 40 regrets.



--Here's the top 10 . . .



#1.) Smoking.

#2.) Not saving more money.

#3.) Getting chubby.

#4.) Not doing better in school.

#5.) Falling out of touch with people.




#6.) Not concentrating hard enough in school.

#7.) Getting into debt.

#8.) Choosing the wrong career path.

#9.) Not quitting smoking at an earlier age.

#10.) Not being brave enough.



--A few other interesting ones lower on the list are . . .



#13.) Not traveling more.

#17.) Losing your virginity to the wrong person.

#23.) Having unprotected sex.

#29.) Getting married.

#31.) Getting a tattoo.

#33.) Using a tanning bed.

#34.) Having an affair.

#40.) Doing drugs.
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